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Back to School

Block PrintingIt’s Back to School for little Miss Me.  I commute one hour to Durango each Tuesday and Thursday to be amongst the pot heads and slackers, and by the time I get to drive home I can hardly make it.  Pregnant lady needs a nap.  I’ve had mixed feelings about Fort Lewis, otherwise known as Fort Leisure, over the past three years I’ve been attending.  The first year I only had one friend who didn’t even go to school, and I was a tad bit miserable.  This last year I still didn’t have any friends, but some of my general education courses were so stimulating that I found myself sweating-balls from excitement at the end of class.

One of my favorite classes of all time was none other than my physical science class, which I’m pretty certain my classmates all despised… but my teacher, Mr. Ryan Haaland, chose to use a great textbook, Physics: Concepts & Connections by Art Hobson, which explained a lot to me of what we DON’T know about the universe up to date.

And obviously, with a teacher like the legendary Michael Freeman, Art History II (1250ad-present) was up there at the tip-top list of educational courses.  He sure had a way to make me nerd out over memerizing every single piece of artwork and artist, knowing every single piece of detail, and knowing every single date at which the work was created… even if I can’t remember any of that now, I felt like a badass.  Unfortunately, no one will get the pleasure of taking another art history class from Sir Freeman at Fort Lewis ever again since he’s moved on to being a genius in other parts of the world.

White Rabbit BlockprintOver the past week I’ve been cracked out on the above drawing for my independant media art class, woodcut printing.  If it weren’t for this class, and being able to work each Mon, Wed, Fri, I may have to drop out of school.  If all goes according to plan, I’ll be completing four prints by December.  This next week I’ll begin carving, and hopefully I’ll record some key steps here.



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photo:  flickr/loopfilmz

The idea of a deterministic universe is based on the philosophical theory of “deterministic systems”—that everything in the universe, what has and will occur, can be understood based on physical outcomes.

Under this belief, every action or cause produces a reaction, or effect, and every reaction in turn, becomes the cause of subsequent reactions. The outcome of such cascading events can theoretically show exactly how the system will exist at any moment in time. An example of this theory would be the simple interaction of three upright dominoes in line back-to-back. Once the first one falls, causing the second to fall, the final reaction of this small deterministic system is the third domino falling also. Small deterministic systems such as the domino effect are easily visualized but are linked to the rest of reality by cause and effect. For example, an outer force — say, someone’s finger — has to cause the first domino to fall, and the last domino may cause something else outside the system to happen — the laughter of a child, perhaps?

When creating theoretical models, systems are typically considered in isolation—external forces that don’t directly affect the dominoes are typically not taken into account when describing and analyzing a system.

In realty, no system exists in complete isolation. External forces which could affect the dominoes — a hurricane or tornado, for example — are causes that an analysis of the system might never not consider if we assume, for example, that a finger will tip the first domino. Again, theoretically, a wide range of such unexpected events and forces could be included in cause and effect calculations in a more complete deterministic system.

Deterministic philosophy is based on classic physics which scientists can use to describe all events which take place on a macroscopic level. Classic physics includes Newton’s law of motion, thermodynamics, the general theory of relativity, and the chaos theory. Systems studied under these theories can be complex, and events may be difficult to predict, but if the starting conditions were known in enough detail, then the outcomes in such systems could, theoretically be predicted.

Behaviorism, for example, is based on the psychological theory that behavior can be researched scientifically because inner mental states are considered to be deterministic, as opposed to free will. The universe conceived from a deterministic viewpoint was the general foundation for scientists until the end of the nineteenth century, when quantum mechanics were first theorized.

The theory of quantum mechanics supports — and depends upon — the idea of a “non-deterministic” universe, or “indeterminacy”. It casts everything as probabilities. If you have exact total knowledge of a system, then you can compute all possible outcomes of that system, thus forming a good probability distribution of how the new system will behave. Still, that doesn’t help you figure out what actually will happen, only what might happen, and how often.

If a particle is described by a wave passing through a narrow slit in the wall, like a water-wave passing through a narrow channel, the particle will diffract and its wave will come out in a range of angles. The narrower the slit is, the wider the diffracted wave and the greater the uncertainty in momentum afterward. Perhaps one of the most important characteristics of quantum mechanics theory tells us that the measurement of a particle’s momentum and position necessarily disturbs that particle’s momentum and position. Observing an event, in other words, changes the event.

States with both definite position and momentum do not exist in quantum mechanics, so it’s not the fault of the measurement equipment. It’s not a “bug” but a feature, and this characteristic of the subatomic level as we know it could conceivably be a scientific connection to the immeasurable spiritual world.

In the atomic and subatomic realm, objects don’t exist so much as they are a wave of possibilities, being everywhere at once until someone looks and collapses all the possibly into a definite location. In essence, until observation, everything is fuzzy—these “things” appear to exist as energy and then collapse into particles upon observation. This implies that nothing is really solid; “reality” doesn’t take form until we observe it.

By understanding that matter is made up of molecules, which are made up of atoms, which are made up of subatomic particles, which are made up of energy — and that energy doesn’t take form until the point of observation, then observation determines solidity, suggesting that there is an important significance in our own thoughts and intentions. Our minds appear to influence the fundamental building blocks of our own realities.

We can no longer exclude ourselves from the creation of our lives, because we influence our own reality.

Read more about quantum physics:



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My favorite movies take place in mental institutes, or are about people who were just released, or about people who aren’t accepted by society… One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Elling, Benny & Joon. Comedy, Horror, Love. My biggest idols are/were all nuts… Van Gogh, Frida Kahlo, my mom. Impressionism, pop-art, contemporary. And I’ve grown up around a somewhat odd crowd… my entire family, my boyfriends, my friends, my enemies. I wouldn’t be surrounding myself with such madness if I didn’t find so much interest, emotion, and somewhat, glee, in it!!

I also love to judge people. In my 8th grade yearbook I was named “Most Likely to be a Judge”. I remember my brother looking at that and saying, “hmmm, Ursala, now what does that tell you?” That’s what you get for being home schooled by a prejudice mother. I felt really bad about that aspect of my personality ever since… but now I’m just looking it in the face and learning to accept it, and now I call it “analyzing”, because it’s much more trying to understand different types of brains rather than thinking people suck for this or that reason.

There was recently a study done at the University of Granada that confirms the contribution of art therapy to aid in the treatment of mental disease. Supposedly, the patients they (the greater they of course!) tested would use their paintings to project repressed desires, feelings and emotions from their hearts and minds. During the artistic process, they were able to bring these feelings and emotions to life, or abolish them as they saw fit!

It’s become even harder for the mentally ill in the U.S.– you must be a physical threat to either yourself or another to get admitted into a mental hospital. For the past two years my best friend and I have been talking about the possibility of opening an art center for these people who have no where else to go, where they aren’t shot up with shit-tons of drugs to sedate them and make their bodies eventually wither away. True, they’d probably need their dose of medication, but through art therapy, the theory is, the dose could be eased and eventually part or their minds may be “healed”. I believe that through art therapy it is quite possible for the pain of mental illness to subside, and creativity can be released.

So on my (constant) search to find my calling in life, I found this amazing art school in Barcelona called Metafora. From what I understand, it’s a contemporary art and art therapy school through the Universitat de Barcelona, and for some gawddamnreason I’d never even thought about art therapy as a degree before! Just like that, BAM, I hear the angels singing from above.

It would be great to study in Spain, but their masters program is four years long. I’ve been frantically Googling, and have found a tasty looking 2-year masters program: The School of Visual Arts in New York, New York, baby. My brother once told me, “If you have a chance to move to L.A., don’t move to L.A… but if you have a chance to move to New York, move to New York.” I know I still have three years to think about it, but I hope I’ve got a chance!!!



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